31 Days {day 22}

October 22, 2013

where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

In five years I will be 45 years old & Freddie will be 46.

Karli will be 19 years old & hopefully in college or something.

Drake will be 17 years old and a senior in high {home}school.

Brant will be 15 years old and a freshman.

Aubree will be almost 11 years old and in the 6th grade probably.

{Now I am officially depressed.}

My life will certainly look different than it does today~

although my kids and their interests will still be front & center.

I see football and dancing still being a big part of my life.

I would imagine that there might be a few romantic interests as well.

I will have two more licensed drivers in our home. God help me.

Hopefully, if all goes according to plan, we will be debt free and 

living in a newly built house with enough space for lots of friends & family.

And a pool. I really want an in-ground pool.

In ten years I will be 50 years old & Freddie will be 51.

Karli will be 24 and working or maybe even married.

Drake will be 22 and a college graduate with a good job.

Brant will be 20 years old and in technical/trade school.

Aubree will be almost 16 and a junior in high {home} school.

Could there be a grand-baby in the picture? It's possible.

I imagine that Aubree {and maybe Brant} will be living at home still.

Are there wedding bells in the air? Could be.

I'm probably going to be totally gray because 

Aubree will be officially a licensed driver. YIKES!

In fifteen years I will be 55 years old & Freddie will be 56.

Karli will be 29 years old & she better be married and have at least one kid!

Drake will be 27 years old & he'll probably be married too. Kids would be nice.

Brant will be 25 years old & he'll be working now and probably married, too.

Aubree will be almost 21 years old and God only knows what she'll be doing.

Freddie & I will hopefully be able to do a lot of traveling.

The extra rooms in our house will be now used for our grand-kids 

and perhaps even space for our new hobbies.

We're still several years away from retirement, 

but hopefully Freddie doesn't have to work nearly as hard as he once did.

I may have a part time job, but in the least I will dedicate a portion of my time

volunteering my time and talents somewhere.

"Gray hair is a crown of splendor, it is attained in the way of righteousness." Proverbs 16:31

31 Days {day 21}

October 21, 2013

describe your relationship with your parents

My relationship with my parents.

Can I just skip this one?

My relationship with my dad....

It's cordial & friendly.

I guess kind of like what you might have with an uncle.

I had a really rough childhood.

There was abuse. Lots of it.

There were some happy memories with my dad, 

but the ones that were not happy were very not happy.

There has been forgiveness.

But some wounds are too deep to forget.

I love him because he is my father,

however I cannot have a close relationship with him.

My relationship with my momma...

It's evolving.

We have our ebbs and flows.

She has worked so hard the past few years to improve many areas of her life

and I am incredibly proud of her for that.

It can be difficult at times to be her daughter.

Sometimes it is draining and frustrating.

The thing about my momma is that there is not a mean bone in her body.

She truly is kind.

Her intentions are good, 

but there is something that stops her sometimes from acting them out.

So here's the rub... 

I love her. I really do.

I trust her. She will always love me.

I will care for her. She has a fear of being alone & I will never let that happen.

I will not quit trying to make us better.

And quite frankly, sometimes, the problems we face are not her fault but mine.

The relationship we have is not necessarily one I want to have with my adult kids,

but it's ours.

It's the best either of us can do at any given moment.

And there is love between us- even if we struggle to show it well sometimes.

"Keep your love for one another at full strength, because love covers a multitude of sins." 1Peter 4:8

31 Days {day 19 & day 20}

October 20, 2013

{day 19} how did you feel the moment you became a parent?

My road to becoming a mother was  long and difficult one.

I've always wanted babies- lots of babies for as long as I can remember.

However, getting to that point was not as easy for Freddie & I as it is for most.

We struggled for 6 years with infertility.

The moment my first born child was placed in my arms was surreal.

I remember thinking, "Wow. This is it. I'm really a mom. She's my baby."

She looked so perfect.

Her face was round and smooth and perfectly pink.

{the photos of those first few moments look very different from what my eyes saw}

I kissed her. And I loved her.

I felt confident that I could take care of her well.

It's almost as though I started to live that day.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5

{day 20} describe 3 significant memories from your childhood

1. I remember that my mom would let me dip my kid-sized play mop in her mop bucket. It made me feel so grown up. I wanted so badly to clean house like her. I always was so jealous that her dirt pile was always so much bigger than mine. 

2. At CHRISTmas we would decorate our tree with our usual ornaments and colored blinking lights. Then, we would put silver icicles on the tree. Momma always wanted them placed neatly and strategically. But Dad would throw them with us on the tree- the thicker the better! It was so much fun and we absolutely LOVED how the tree looked when it was drowned in icicles.

3. One year for CHRISTmas we were at my grandmother's house for our annual family get-together. Only this year, when we got home, we discovered that Santa had passed while we were gone. This made my doubting mind wonder, but then I remembered that Dad and my uncles had left for a little while to go the store for something. 

*In order to keep it real, I combined {days 19 & 20} because they were both written today.

31 Days {day 18}

October 18, 2013

what do you think your spouse loves most about you?

What's not to love?

If I had to name the one thing that I think Freddie loves most about me

 it would have to be that I am a really good mother to our children.

A perfect mother I am not.

But I am good and I am theirs.

I love them fiercely with a passion rivaled by none.

I am constantly trying to improve myself- 

as a mother, but also as a wife, a woman, and a child of God.

And, just to see how close my own guess was, I asked him what he loves most about me

and it would seem that I am absolutely right.

"She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: 'Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.'" Proverbs 31:27-29