February 26, 2013

Ever feel like you don't quite measure up?
I struggle with this all the time.

I feel like I'm never skinny enough.
Or pretty enough.
Like my house is never clean enough.
Or that my days are not productive enough.
I feel like I am not smart enough to be home schooling my kids
and that I may be failing them somehow.
I often feel like I am not a good enough wife.
Sometimes, I think that I don't push my kids hard enough.
Or that I push them too hard.
Most often, I feel like I am not patient enough or unselfish enough
and that I don't show the love of Jesus nearly enough.
There are seasons where I feel like I don't pray enough.
Or that I get too lazy to focus others' needs.

I look around me, and it seems that everyone else has it together.
Other moms have figured out how to parent
 without ever losing her cool.
Their kids are well behaved and always obedient.
I see marriages where the husband & wife
are always on the same page.
I become super secretly envious of those women
who are always so full of energy.
And there are those who seem to have all the answers.

I just can't seem to get everything together.
It's like I can't juggle all the balls at one time
and keep them ALL in the air.
I can handle a few at any given time.
But without fail, once I try to add them all in to the mix,
some are going to drop to the ground.
And hard.

I hope that there is someone out there, reading this,
who can identify with me.
Please tell me that I'm not the only one
who sometimes has to swim with all her might
just to keep from drowning.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes when I swim,
I feel like Michael Phelps!
But, most often I am in need of a Lifeguard.

I've learned that when I rely on mySELF,
I can make a really big mess of things.
mySELF wants to be lazy & self-righteous.
mySELF does not want to put others first.
mySELF wants all the applause.
mySELF can never be enough.
It's only when I go to God in prayer,
asking for the Holy Spirit to fill me with a
measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over
will I ever be enough.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:1-2


walk the walk.

February 20, 2013

I'm writing at Joli today! I hope you'll take a minute to stop by and read my post.


spend like there's no tomorrow

February 14, 2013


Four little letters with such big implications.
It's what all little girls dream of, right?
I know it's the one thing I've searched for, it seems, my whole life.
It's the standard I've used to measure my worth as a human.
If I was well loved, then I was a good person.

But love is so much more than that.
It's not merely a feeling.
It's certainly not an option.
It's a command. {Matt 22:34-40}
It's the cornerstone of Christianity.
It's the key. The mystery revealed.
It is the answer!

Today, Valentine's Day, has me reflecting on how well {or not} I have loved others.
Have I been a good daughter? Wife? Mother? Friend?
I have. Sort of.
I've performed the obligatory duties of each role.
But, if I am honest with myself, I could do so much better.

Somehow, I let myself get tangled up in the lie that I deserve to put myself first.
Even if only on occasion.
That leaves room for selfishness to dance among my relationships.
It robs others of some of what I have to give to them.
I let laziness settle in and keep love stored up inside of me where it serves no good.
It only withers and dies alone.

The truth is, we can all love better than we do.
No matter how good of a job we think we are doing.

Yes, I love my husband & my children more than one human mind can comprehend.
But, I hold back sometimes.
I get complacent and languid.
I assume that they know how my heart beats for them.

I am fortunate enough to have friends & family that I cherish.
But, I have let past hurts hold me back from giving my all.
I allow jealousy and fear to keep me from loving as Christ has instructed me to.
The world has misguided us into believing lies. Satan's lies!
It's so easy to forget that it's not about what we get out of life, but what we give.
Sure, God will bless us richly and abundantly.
Pressed down, shaken together, and running over. {Luke 6:38}
But that's only lagniappe.

There are moments here, in this life, that are so precious and awesome.
Can you imagine how much more so it will be in Heaven where the awesomeness never ends?
It's constant and magnified beyond what we can envision.
We should live our lives Kingdom focused.
It's really all about ETERNITY- not a fleeting moment here on Earth.
I want to spend infinity with those that I love- in Heaven.
The only way to get there is through Christ- who LOVED.

And the funny thing about love, the more you give it, the more it comes back to you!

Chocolates are yummy.
Roses are pretty.
But spend more than your money on your Valentine this year.
Invest in something that will last more than a few days.
Spend YOU!

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." John 13:34



February 7, 2013

Things That Make Me Smile

  • Kids covered in mud
  • School work done for the day
  • Left overs for supper
  • When I score BIG at Goodwill 
  • My kids getting along with each other
  • My Bestest friends
  • Coffee time with my husband
  • God's voice
  • Chocolate
  • Good hair days
  • The sound my kids make when they're happy
  • When I do not have a muffin top in my favorite jeans
  • Being loved
  • Being appreciated
  • Hugs from my kids
  • Counting my blessings! 

"Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you." 2Corinthians 13:11