An Unwelcome Guest

January 10, 2012

I've made it well known how much I LOVE fall and the CHRISTmas season. It just feels so family and love and cozy to me. I have not, however, talked about what my least favorite time of year is. {Yep. You guessed it. This is it.}

I usually try to focus on the good. I am a natural born optimist. I am a glass half full kind of girl. But, every year at this time I feel something festering inside of me. It's hard to put my finger on exactly what it is. The root. The source. The trigger. It's almost as if the chemistry of my brain begins to change. I have, a few times before, fallen into an actual depression that required medication for a short period of time.

The memories from the year before start haunting me in late December usually. And I whisper a prayer and make a resolve that this year will be different. No funk. No fog. No despondency. And a couple weeks into January, uninvited, she shows up. Maybe not with as many bags as the year before. I usually end up letting her in, if only for coffee and a snack. But, even though I try to turn her away, she doesn't take the hint and she shows up each year ready to settle in for a little mini-vacation. I have grown more aware over the years. I know she's probably gonna invite herself over. But, I have gotten better about not letting her move in. There is just no room for her.

This year was no exception. She tried again. And with practice, I am getting better at keeping her away year by year. I am not letting her in. No coffee. No dessert. {I'm on a diet.}

I know that I am not the only one who {has had} struggles with this. It's often very difficult and shameful to talk about. It carries with it a certain stigma. "He's crazy." "She's weak." "Loser." But I am here to tell you, none of this is true. I believe in most cases, it is an absolute attack on your soul by the Devil himself. You are not crazy. You can overcome these feelings. You are not a loser. Don't let Satan tell you any different. There is hope. Your life is meaningful. You are important. So whether you are experiencing little nagging feelings of sadness and despair, or debilitating depression do not be discouraged.

God loves you. "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

He wants good for you. "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

He is more powerful than what you are facing. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2Corinthians 12:9

He wants to help you. "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16

He can see you through it. "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." 1Corinthians 10:13

{Depression can be triggered by many different life situations. Clinical depression, however, is a physical condition that must be medically diagnosed and treated, caused by a physical disorder. God can cure any disease or disorder, however, in some cases, seeing a doctor for depression is no different than seeing a doctor for an injury or other medical condition. I am in no way encouraging anyone who suffers from depression or any medical condition to forgo professional medical help. My opinions expressed here are strictly to offer Hope in an often disconsolate place.}

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