{reality check from a six year old}

February 19, 2014

I'm driving home from dancing.
The dancing class where I wait 3 hours for my girls to both finish.
Two of the three hours I sit with an antsy and energetic 6 year old.
Okay. Driving.
From the back seat I hear Karli yelling at correcting Aubree about how
"if it wasn't already broken it certainly is now";
referring to the DVD player.
Freddie recently ordered two DVD player head rests for my van.
They're very nice. It made our vacation car ride much more bearable.
I've been enthusiastically telling Aubree for a few months now to leave the DVD player
and DVD's alone because she broke the last one by kicking it with her feet.
Furthermore, I don't think there is one single DVD,
including the ones they just got for CHRISTmas,
that is not scratched from improper care.
So, hearing the skirmish from the backseat,
I offer a few loud words towards Aubree about the matter.
Then I find out that the DVD player that Karli was talking about
was the one that we have already established is broken.
It was in the seat back pocket.
God only knows why I haven't thrown it away yet.
Okay. Fine.
Now, here's where I'm going with all of this:
Aubree then, full on whimpering for the most effect, proceeds to inform me that
"you need to say sorry, Mom, because you really hurt my feelings!"
And so, I did.
I have {we all do} taught my children to offer apologies when they hurt someone else
or when they do something wrong.

Why do we not treat each other the way we expect our children to?
When we say something that is un-thoughtful, rude, or unkind to someone
why do we not just apologize for hurting them?
We all make mistakes.
I know that I tend to react poorly when I'm stressed, tired, or grumpy.
There have been many times where I have said something thinking it was going to be funny
and it turned out to really hurt someone's feelings.
We need to just say sorry.
It goes such a long way in preserving relationships.
Don't let pride stop you.
That's just Satan wanting to divide us so that we are weaker.
Take a stand and commit to take care of your friendships.
Make them important enough to put your self aside
and tend to the heart of those you care about.

"As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt." 1Samuel 18:1-4

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." Proverbs 17:17

{it's raining, it's pouring}

February 4, 2014

{LOVE}.
It's where I've purposed to live this year.
But the funny thing is, God is full of surprises.
I thought that I was going to be the only one exercising my heart.
And then, He sends the showers to drench me, violently and swiftly~
everywhere I turn it's thundering and lightening with those who rain {LOVE}.
What a blessing it is to know that I am {LOVEd} by the Creator.

Sometimes it's hardest to {love} yourself.
Or to let yourself be {loved}.
I'm learning that it may be one of the most important parts of being able to {love} others well.

I find myself in a season that I don't particularly want to be in.
It's a hassle.
A change.
An awakening.
And as soon as I reach out for help, just the tiniest bit,
I've got an army of girls, armed to the teeth,
standing at attention, ready to go to the Throne on my behalf.
They empty their hearts of {love} all over me.

This is a lesson.
I must mark it down in red and underline it.
Even the smallest gesture I can give in {love}~
Like an encouraging word,
Or an earnest prayer~
Can make such an impact and help to lighten the load of the weary.
{love}
It's that simple.
Who would've thought that this journey would begin with me receiving what I've set out to give?

"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us." 1John 4:16-19

{love} on purpose

January 28, 2104

So, in my last post, several weeks ago, I promised to reveal my new

"Word of the Year".

{love}

Seems simple.

We all have the instinct to love.

I love my kids~ fiercely.

I love my husband~ passionately.

I love my parents, family, & friends~ faithfully.

But I don't always {love} well.

It's very easy to {love} my kids when they are being nice to each other.

How can I not {love} my husband when he pays me a much needed compliment?

I {love} the lovable.

It's in the shadows of a cranky mood or selfish intentions

that I am challenged and tested to push through in {love}.

I want to begin to {love} on purpose.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30-31

We are COMMANDED to {love}.

To {love} God. To {love} everyone else. To {love} ourselves.

Not just a little.

We are to {love} with ALL that we are and ALL that we have.

No other commandment is greater!

How do I {love} God?

Sometimes it's like a comfortable relationship; the {love} is always there,

but the passion may be on simmer.

Other times I feel like I can't even come up with the words to express how intense my feelings of {love} are for Him.

In reality, if I am to {love} on purpose, it must start with my {love} affair with Jesus.

He is the only example of true, real, pure {love}.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." 

Romans 5:8

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." 

John 15:13

"For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit." 

1Peter 3:18

The Bible is full of examples of how Jesus loved those that were deemed unlovable.

He lived {love} on purpose!

That's what I want.

I want it to flow through me, naturally.

I am so not there. 

It's actually scary to think that this is how I am going to focus myself this year.

I cannot do this on my own will power.

I must rely on the strength that comes from Christ alone.

{resolve}

January 8, 2014

Happy New Year!

November called for Thankfulness.

December called for Giving.

January calls for Resolutions.

Have you jumped on that bandwagon and

made a list of things that you want to accomplish

just to realize that in a few short weeks 

you'll be slapped in the face with the reality

that you may have been just a tad too ambitious?

You'll find that you're in way over your head

and you'll abandon The List 

and promptly begin beating yourself up

because you're a failure.

I'm all for growth, progress, & change.

But I also know that I am human.

Don't fall into the trap of setting yourself up for disappointment.

Am I saying that you shouldn't try to lose those few extra pounds that found you last year

or try to shake off that character flaw that you're not happy with?

No. Not at all.

I'm saying that you should go about it in a different way.

Here's what I'm trying to say...

I totally believe that God has sent the Holy Spirit to us~

To guide us and speak to us.

It's not magic, and it's not out of reach. 

It's not something that only happens for other people.

God will totally meet us where we are and give us all that we need.

We just need to listen.

I have discovered that God wants us to accomplish things in a certain order.

We may not be ready for some things before others.

For the past several years, 

as I have made a conscious effort to grow closer to God,

I have heard the voice of the Holy Spirit within me 

telling me where I need to focus my energy.

I've dedicated each "new year" with a WORD 

that I've been given to purpose toward.

Growth. Service. Faith. 

Whatever your word is, you should write it down~ 

somewhere, anywhere, everywhere!

And then begin to seek out God's will in your life through prayer.

{I've learned that when I am sincere in lining myself up with the will of God, my prayer life bears more fruit. It's one of the most powerful things I've ever experienced.} 

Make yourself available to opportunities that stretch you in that area.

Educate yourself on what the Bible says about it.

Exercise it. 

And pretty soon, you'll find out that 

you've wandered into a space you've wanted to be all along.

Everything starts falling beautifully into place.

Those challenges start to become smaller 

and you can more easily discern & conquer what doesn't belong in your life.

Success!

Then, without fail, you'll hear another whisper.

Oh, the places you can go!

It's a precious journey and the thing is, instead of getting weary,

each "new year" finds you eager for new challenges.

And it's because you fall into God and let Him carry you where He leads.

Stay tuned...

I'll tell you about my new WORD soon.

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:34-35

{thankful heart}

November 1, 2013

I don't know what it is, exactly,
but I have been very moist-eyed lately.
Tears will appear at the slightest little thought.
Or commercial.
It's probably hormones.

I'd like to think that it's because I am
settling into this place.
The one where I am more confident
and clueless.
The one where I am exhausted
but fueled to give more.
The place where old friends used to be
and new ones are filling in.
I'm learning to stick up for myself
and that I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

I like it.
This place.
It's new, and scary, and exciting.
I find myself humbled and thankful.
And here begins another challenge.
You know exactly what I'm going to say.
It seems like November requires us to become aware of our blessings.
And honestly, I am very grateful every single day!
I just don't always write it down.
I speak it.
But words can vanish in to memory.
So this is where I etch the song of my heart into forever.

I am thankful for a Savior who died for someone, for me, for you, that was not worthy of the sacrifice. We don't deserve one drop of His blood. His love for us is so great that He suffered in the hopes that we would one day love Him back. I am grateful for so much more than my mind can even comprehend in the Love of Jesus Christ. 

"We love because he first loved us." 1John 4:19

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person- though perhaps for a good person one would dare even die- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8

{love note}

August 26, 2013

From time to time
life gets the better of us.
We get overwhelmed with commitments
and responsibilities.
Things get pushed and shoved into
the corner marked for later.
The dirt piles up.
And it's sloppy and messy.
Seems like it's useless,
except to remind us of our shortcomings.
But, God loves us through it all
and He can {and does} use every
situation to show us His love for us.
He is with us and will not leave us.
And when we need to be reminded,
He will scribble a love note in the dirt.

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person- though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved-" Ephesians 2:4-5

{now}

August 1, 2013

Summer is in full effect.
It's HOT in this little corner of the world.

But it's not slowed us down.

Football season is here! Drake practices 4 days a week.

Brant will soon begin his football season as well.

This season has caused some minor health issues for Aubree that have slowed her down just a little.

  I am totally enjoying this season where she is still sleeping in our bed in her Bob & Larry socks..

Karli has entered a new season with NO MORE BRACES!

This is football season, 

and summer dance workshops season. 

It's asthma season

and a photo shoot to celebrate no more braces season.

It's family vacation season.

And let's enjoy the last few weeks of no school season.

For everything there is a season.

Things break-

like the a/c in the automobile,

or the clothes dryer,

or your heart 

or his spirit

or her will.

But just like there is a time to tear down

don't forget that there will be a time to build up

and repair what's been broken.

There will be a season of rest

and blessing.

Life is a constant cycle of change.

Plenty and want.

Ease and difficulty.

Comfort and pain.

It all serves a higher purpose.

So be present in your season.

Seek God in thankfulness and worship,

Guidance and wisdom.

Trusting always in the bigger picture,

though it's not always visible with the human eye.

Right now, my kids are in a season of

learning to value each other.

I am trying to instill a priority of kind spirits towards

each other at all times.

The lesson is hard learned

but well worth it in the end.

I am in a season of trusting myself.

Learning that I am enough.

Trying to apply wisdom in every area of my life.

What season are you in?

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

{better than all the rest?}

July 10, 2013

I've kind of been struggling {maybe that's too harsh of a word}~
I've been feeling pangs of....
No, that's not it.
I've been bothered by feelings of judgement.
Not necessarily directed towards me.
Judgement of others by CHRISTIANS.
And God has been showing me some things.
So, here's what...

I guess it's easy to think that something or someone who is
not like us,
Or even opposite of what we are,
Is not normal or perhaps even out and out wrong for that matter.
But you know what.
We are all different for a reason.
God made us that way.
We don't need any other explanation or justification.
We are, each one of us, beautifully flawed.
On purpose.
By a Holy Creator who wants to show
His perfect LOVE for us through
our weakness and imperfection
as a means to show just how holy and perfect He is.
The end.

As Christians, we tend to get pious & sanctimonious.
We are better than everyone else.
We do this and we are careful to refrain from that.
The this's & that's which have been defined by religion.
Last time I checked,
religion is a moral code created by {flawed} man.

Religion can be beneficial.
I will not say that it's evil or completely wrong.
I gain much from my religious affiliation.
You just have to be careful with it.
Every religion has it's own set of rules~
It's very own this's & that's.
Religion is not the final word.
The final word is The Bible.

Listen, if God intended for us to follow the rules to get to Heaven
{and isn't that the goal of life, anyway? To get to Heaven?}
He would have not needed to send Jesus Christ to hang on that tree.
Period.

So, the good news is...
We are all saved by grace.
Not because we follow the rules or not.
Yes, there is certainly a moral code we should all live by~
As Christians and as humans, too.
But just because I do something you think it best not to do
Or maybe I refrain from things that you see are important,
It does not mean that you are the better Christian.
It just simply means that we are in different places in our walk with Christ.
Nothing more. Nothing less.

We are called to hate the sin and love the sinner.
So let's all be careful and try to judge less & love more.

If I have made you feel inferior to me.
Ever.
If I have done things or said things that hurt you
or made you feel like you are less of a Christian
{or human} than I am,
PLEASE
accept this as my sincere apology.
My intention is not to make anyone feel badly about themselves.
We are all trying our very best to get through this life.
None of us walk the same path,
Or carry the same burdens,
Nor are we equally equipped.
{With the exception of accessibility to God our Father}

Instead of gossiping {which is a sin} about how this one does this
Or looking down on that one because he does that,
We should be in prayer for God's truth to be revealed.
You don't know someone else's heart.
Only God does.
And not only does He know our hearts,
He know them intimately.
Each one of us is so important to Him that our very hairs are numbered!
Okay. Think about it.
What does the bathroom floor look like when you sweep?
Dust bunnies.
Toilet paper fragments.
{Come on. You know I'm right. Those little tiny pieces that try to escape "work".}
And hair.
Our hair falls out constantly. And it's replaced.
We're constantly growing in new hair.
And they're all counted.
Seems like a lot of trouble.
But not for our Father.
We are so important to Him
that he counts and recounts every single strand.
Yours. Mine. His. Hers.
If God can love sinners that much,
Why can't we?
You may very well be the only glimpse of Christ's love that someone ever sees.
Make it count.

"For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." Matthew 7:2-5

"Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him." 1John 4:8-9

{i'm gonna miss this}

July 3, 2013

June has already quietly slipped away.
It was full.
And fast.
And good.

And here I am.
Staring July in the face.
Willing time to slow.
Just a bit.

I've got grand plans for July.
I want to soak her in.
Every moment.
I want to accomplish all the things that school eats up
throughout the year.
And I want my kids to remember the days of summer
with fondness and nostalgia.
I want to be present in the memories of these precious, sacred days.

I want to be renewed.
I want to be filled up with so much of God
that there is little room for anything else.
I want a Christ-filled life to become so ingrained into my soul
that it's a habit more than a choice.
I am purposing to live out my life trusting God's plan.
Often times it's easier to trust
that God will bless you with the desire's of your heart
but not so easy to actually trust
that God's plan may not look at all like your plan does.
We're working on that in this season of opportunity & uncertainty.

My kids are growing up before my eyes.
They are becoming evident of life beyond Mom & Dad.
They are starting to think of life as their own-
apart from everyone else.
It's happening so quickly that
I can hardly believe it.
Lord knows how many more summers
they will actually want to spend
hanging out with me.
I've got a lot to accomplish in this short time.
I need to balance work with fun.
Pools are begging for swimmers.
Closets need to get cleaned.
Tans need to be darkened.
School needs to be planned.
I want to eat dinner outside after an afternoon spent playing.
My hope is to seize every opportunity to be spontaneous.
So bring on the snow cones!
The blue-er the better.

"The Lord of hosts has sworn: As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand," Isaiah 14:24

Casting Stones

April 15, 2013

I hope you don't mind, but I am going to just ramble a bit.
My prayer is not to offend anyone,
and I apologize in advance if I do.

I've been struggling with some things lately.
I'm trying to figure out exactly what Christianity looks like.
Or, rather, what it's supposed to look like.
And it's not even for me, really.
I am in a place where I know that I need to be in.
It's not where I am going to stay.
I'm growing.
My roots are digging deeper,
my tree is maturing,
and now bearing fruit.
Finally.

But what about others?
Some that I love very much.
Maybe some that are acquaintances that are "in church".
Perhaps those who wave the Christian flag,
but, for one reason or another, are not "in church".
Those who say they are Christians,
But their lives look a little different than mine do.
Are they any less Christian
because their tree is not bearing the same fruit
as mine or others who also call themselves Christ followers?

What about a few years ago, when my branches were bare?
Was I less of a Christian then?

I am wrestling with feelings of judgement.
Not for me.
But for those who's fires may not be burning as hot as others.

Why do Christians look down upon those
who may drink a beer or two,
Or those who use curse words from time to time?
Are those sins worse than being unloving and unkind?
Is God less forgiving of those who
buy a lottery ticket once a week
than He is toward those who
gossip about others
just because they are faithful in attending church services once a week?

I'm not excusing sin.
I believe that when you fall in love with God,
You naturally make efforts to not grieve the Holy Spirit.
But, failure is part of humanity.
Sin is woven into our DNA.
It is what separates us from the Trinity.
And we are all guilty- Christian and heathen alike.

So, can you still be a Christian if you believe in your heart

• that Jesus Christ was indeed physically born of a virgin 
• hung on a cross as a sinless {hu}man to pay the price for your sins
• rose from the dead and ascended into Heaven 
• where He sits beside the Father

• and still not read your Bible every day 
• miss church more than you attend
• curse like a sailor {with your friends, not your pastor}
• have a few drinks a few times a week

• yet you are generous to others with your time, talents, and money
• you are forgiving even when it's not deserved because you are Forgiven
• you truly are loving as Christ has instructed us to be
• your prayer life is lived out in faith

Why do we judge others?
Didn't Jesus speak against calling out the speck in our brother's eye 
while we ignore the plank in our own? {Matthew 7:3}
Why is there some sin that is acceptable 
while other sin has been deemed detestable?

There's the argument that if you realize
exactly what Jesus did on the cross
then your heart won't let you continue
to give in to your sinful self.
And I get it.
I totally understand that.
But, for me, it wasn't always that way.
It took my heart a little longer to grasp all that my head knew.

When I first got saved
Had I known everything then that I know now,
I would have probably walked away and said,
"It's never gonna happen. This is too hard. I'll just pass."
I wasn't ready to give up a lot of my selfish pleasures back then.
But today, my prayer, my earnest prayer,
is that God would fill me to overflowing with HIMself!
I pray for God to cleanse me of everything that breaks His heart.
And even still, I am so far from being
a good example of a Christ follower.

Likewise, thinking back to when I first met my husband,
I realize that if, during our courting,
life would have thrown some of the things at us
that it would during our marriage years later,
I would have walked away and never looked back.
It took a long time for my love for him
to mature into what it is today.
I'm not saying that I wasn't serious about our relationship.
I am certainly not saying that I did not love him at all.
It's just that time and experience
creates trust and builds a relationship.

I cannot change anyone else.
I can write a blog and hopefully, if it applies to you,
you will feel the conviction in your heart.
I can make every effort to quit judging others.
I can realize that it's not my job
to tell you what you should and should not do.
{I believe that the Holy Spirit will convict you and plant
a seed of uneasiness as you grow and mature as a Christian.}
It is my job, however, as a Christ follower
to love you~ like Jesus does.
Jesus acknowledged sin,
but instead of being rude and arrogant,
He showed the way to freedom.
Being loved by Jesus feels good-
In spite of your sin.

You don't have to do anything to be loved.
God loves you simply because you exist.
If that's enough for Him, shouldn't it be enough for me?

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5:1-2

"Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1John 4:8

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person- though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8

{dirty} laundry.

March 12, 2013

Can any of you out there relate?

It seems like the laundry at my house NEVER ends!

You can imagine my dismay when I opened my dryer to find my clothes still damp.

Uh Oh!

So I grabbed the vacuum cleaner and sucked out the lint trap,

hoping praying this would fix the problem.

Nope.

So, I had my brave son go outside and dig around in the dryer exhaust to make sure the birds hadn't built another nest in there. 

{Quit judging me!}

Still, nothing.

I then realized that it was time to break out the big guns!

I had to go deeper, because from the outside all looked well.

The time had come to get dirty.

I pulled the dryer out and removed the silver exhaust tube thingy.

{Yes, that IS the technical name.}

I stuck my arm in and dug.

And dug.

And dug some more until I had halfway filled a Walmart bag with dryer lint!

Gross!

Then I vacuumed out the inside of the back of the dryer.

I was appalled at just how much junk was in there.

I thought, "No wonder it's not working like it should. There's so much trash and dirt inside that it can't do what it's made to do."

And then something happened that I didn't expect.

There I was, covered in dust.

Poking my hands and arms into crevices I'm sure they were never meant to be in.

God spoke to me.

He told me that I am just like that dryer.

There are times when I operate as I was designed to.

I do what is expected of me as a Christian- the work of Jesus.

But, then there are times, when the dirt and lint {of the world} start building up inside the hidden places of me.

Rendering me less effective.

The only way to reclaim efficiency is to clean out the junk.

I've got to go deep and search the bowels of myself.

Ridding my soul of everything that weakens my performance.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

"You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him." Romans 8:9

measure.

February 26, 2013

Ever feel like you don't quite measure up?
I struggle with this all the time.

I feel like I'm never skinny enough.
Or pretty enough.
Like my house is never clean enough.
Or that my days are not productive enough.
I feel like I am not smart enough to be home schooling my kids
and that I may be failing them somehow.
I often feel like I am not a good enough wife.
Sometimes, I think that I don't push my kids hard enough.
Or that I push them too hard.
Most often, I feel like I am not patient enough or unselfish enough
and that I don't show the love of Jesus nearly enough.
There are seasons where I feel like I don't pray enough.
Or that I get too lazy to focus others' needs.

I look around me, and it seems that everyone else has it together.
Other moms have figured out how to parent
 without ever losing her cool.
Their kids are well behaved and always obedient.
I see marriages where the husband & wife
are always on the same page.
I become super secretly envious of those women
who are always so full of energy.
And there are those who seem to have all the answers.

I just can't seem to get everything together.
It's like I can't juggle all the balls at one time
and keep them ALL in the air.
I can handle a few at any given time.
But without fail, once I try to add them all in to the mix,
some are going to drop to the ground.
And hard.

I hope that there is someone out there, reading this,
who can identify with me.
Please tell me that I'm not the only one
who sometimes has to swim with all her might
just to keep from drowning.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes when I swim,
I feel like Michael Phelps!
But, most often I am in need of a Lifeguard.

I've learned that when I rely on mySELF,
I can make a really big mess of things.
mySELF wants to be lazy & self-righteous.
mySELF does not want to put others first.
mySELF wants all the applause.
mySELF can never be enough.
It's only when I go to God in prayer,
asking for the Holy Spirit to fill me with a
measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over
will I ever be enough.

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." Romans 12:1-2

spend like there's no tomorrow

February 14, 2013

Love.

Four little letters with such big implications.
It's what all little girls dream of, right?
I know it's the one thing I've searched for, it seems, my whole life.
It's the standard I've used to measure my worth as a human.
If I was well loved, then I was a good person.

But love is so much more than that.
It's not merely a feeling.
It's certainly not an option.
It's a command. {Matt 22:34-40}
It's the cornerstone of Christianity.
It's the key. The mystery revealed.
It is the answer!

Today, Valentine's Day, has me reflecting on how well {or not} I have loved others.
Have I been a good daughter? Wife? Mother? Friend?
I have. Sort of.
I've performed the obligatory duties of each role.
But, if I am honest with myself, I could do so much better.

Somehow, I let myself get tangled up in the lie that I deserve to put myself first.
Even if only on occasion.
That leaves room for selfishness to dance among my relationships.
It robs others of some of what I have to give to them.
I let laziness settle in and keep love stored up inside of me where it serves no good.
It only withers and dies alone.

The truth is, we can all love better than we do.
No matter how good of a job we think we are doing.

Yes, I love my husband & my children more than one human mind can comprehend.
But, I hold back sometimes.
I get complacent and languid.
I assume that they know how my heart beats for them.

I am fortunate enough to have friends & family that I cherish.
But, I have let past hurts hold me back from giving my all.
I allow jealousy and fear to keep me from loving as Christ has instructed me to.
The world has misguided us into believing lies. Satan's lies!
It's so easy to forget that it's not about what we get out of life, but what we give.
Sure, God will bless us richly and abundantly.
Pressed down, shaken together, and running over. {Luke 6:38}
But that's only lagniappe.

There are moments here, in this life, that are so precious and awesome.
Can you imagine how much more so it will be in Heaven where the awesomeness never ends?
It's constant and magnified beyond what we can envision.
We should live our lives Kingdom focused.
It's really all about ETERNITY- not a fleeting moment here on Earth.
I want to spend infinity with those that I love- in Heaven.
The only way to get there is through Christ- who LOVED.

And the funny thing about love, the more you give it, the more it comes back to you!

Chocolates are yummy.
Roses are pretty.
But spend more than your money on your Valentine this year.
Invest in something that will last more than a few days.
Spend YOU!

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." John 13:34