I Can See Clearly Now the "Wall" is Gone....

September 8, 2010


"He did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly." 1Peter 2:23


I have been freed, as you might know if you read my previous blog. It has everything to do with forgiveness. How fitting it was when I opened my daily devotional today to discover the subject was just this very topic! (Okay, God. I get it.) If you will indulge me, I will elaborate on the topic. (Forgive me for not doing so in "Free at Last!!!!", but I was extremely tired, it was very late, and I had a short night and very early and long day ahead of me. Amen.)


Sometimes, were are overtly hurt or betrayed by people. We have been taught to forgive. No, we have been commanded to forgive. "Then Peter came to him and asked, 'Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?' 'No!' Jesus replied, 'seventy times seven!'" Matthew 18:21-22


Forgiveness can be defined: to pardon or acquit of sins; acquittal; new lease on life.  Let's pay special attention to the new lease on life part. What do you think that implies? I can tell you exactly what it is saying from firsthand experience. It means that when you no longer hold anger and bitterness for "sins" committed against you by someone else by forgiving them, you are giving yourself a new lease on life. You are opening your heart and mind up to release things that have been causing you pain, worry, fear, anger. You are making room for healing, peace, love, happiness. You are making room and removing obstacles to go places where you could not drag the burden of grievances left unforgiven. People often hold on to others' transgressions against them because they are afraid by forgiving the offender, they are saying "What you did was okay." I am here to tell you that is not the case at all. When you forgive someone, you are simply "leaving it in the hands of God, who always judges fairly".


I have said that we are to forgive when we are overtly hurt by others, but, how about when the offense is covert, or when the "offender" is even unaware of his crime? This had been the case with me for YEARS!!!!!! I had been holding on to something that I felt was done to me that I did not deserve. I know in my head that the perpetrator was completely unaware of his failing. It was a flaw in this person that I held them accountable for because I wanted them to be different that what they are. I wanted to be offered something other than what he was willing or able to give. I felt as though my relationship with this person was being held back, or blocked, by a brick wall. I had the impression that the brick wall was built by the malefactor. I let hurt and fear build up in my life and affect some of my other relationships, really important relationships. I also felt sad that my connection with the "wall builder" would never go to a place where I had hoped it could be.


It finally got to the point where I knew that I wanted to be released from the prison I had been held captive in for so long. I wanted it mostly because of the way it had begun to invade other areas of my life. I hit my knees, I did a lot of soul searching, I was loved, encouraged, and prayed for by the best friend anyone could ever hope to have and when I finally decided to forgive these "invisible" sins, God met me exactly where I was to tell me that I, too, had been released.


And you know what I discovered? I found out that I was the one who built the wall, no one else helped. It was all me. But, God helped me to tear it down and the scene that unfolded on the other side of the wall was more than I ever hoped it would be. I still have to walk step by step to this newly discovered place. But, there is no longer an obstacle in my way, nor encumbering my view. I feel so good about where I am going with this person. I cannot believe that I let the wall stay up so long, or even be built in the first place. I was hurting myself, and probably others, too. I have found that the unaware recipient of my recent forgiveness, is, at least in my perspective, behaving more like I have always hoped for. 


So, if there is someone in your life that you need to forgive, whether it is something that has been outright and deliberately hurtful, or something they don't even know they've done or are doing, I encourage you to take the steps to forgiveness. God tells us that we must forgive in order to be forgiven. How can we ask for something that we are not willing to give?


"But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. But if you do not forgive , neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins." Mark 11:25-26 

Free at Last!!!!!!!!!

September 6, 2010

I have been dealing with an "issue" for many, many years. This "issue" has affected important areas in my life and has recently grown into a two headed monster for me. I have been held hostage by fear and it's really been bothering me quite a bit. I have been working really hard on peeling back the layers to get to the core of the "issue" to make peace and resolution. I have been praying and seeking God's guidance in this area of my life. And, eureka!  I have had a "light bulb" moment with God and He has taken me off of that dark, scary, lonely road and brought me in a new and wonderful direction. After all this time, stuck in a place that I did not want to be, I finally see healing and forgiveness~ and it is so beautiful!


I wonder what took me so long to get to this point. I have wasted so much time and energy on fear and other useless feelings. I have held on to things that I should have let go of so long ago. I feel free. I feel peace. I feel hope.


We all have things in our lives that, I believe the devil uses, to hold us back from blessings that God wants for us.  It is really something to experience God's amazing love for us when we finally open up ourselves to Him and let Him heal us. If you are holding on to something that is holding you back, keeping you afraid, or bitter, or hurt, or angry, or resentful, fall to your knees now. Pray for God to lead you out of it! Don't waste any more time on things that God does not intend for your life. He only wants good for us. When we are in an unhappy place in any area of our lives, He hurts for us, like we hurt for our children. I encourage ask God to rescue you from anything that is keeping your from happiness. If you're like me, when you are finally free of this "thing" that has been keeping you down, you will be amazed at how good it feels!


"He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters. He delivered me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me. They attacked me at a moment when I was weakest, but the Lord upheld me. He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me." Psalm 18:16-19

Our Team

September 3, 2010

Drake had his first "real" football practice yesterday. He had so much fun. When it was over he said that it was "the most fun I have ever had in my whole life, Mom!" He has been waiting for so long to be able to play. He played 'center'. I don't know exactly what that means other than he hikes the ball.  It was very interesting to see how each member of the team plays a different, yet equally important role. The team has a common goal and it takes several different players, each doing their own part to make to the end zone!

It really is the same thing in life. Somehow, our society has deemed your "professional importance" by how much money you make. Oh, but I see things very differently. A doctor, for example, makes a nice salary. I think we will all agree that his job is an important one, and he deserves the money he makes. But, let's break it down a bit.  How important is the janitor at your child's school? Who is going to be first to volunteer for this job and salary? Any takers? Come on. No? Nobody? Have you see the bathrooms at school? What if NO ONE cleaned them EVER? What about the lunch ladies at school? Surely, somebody out there wants this job and salary. No? Who's going to feed our kids? Okay, surely we have someone who wants to be a cashier. Hurry. Raise your hand! Okay. I've got it. What about the truck drivers who bring goods to the stores for consumers? I know I've got a few of you who are interested. Driving across the country, alone. On a deadline. Day after day after day. Sounds exciting, right?

The point is, there are so many positions out there that are deemed "undesirable" for one reason or another. The person who performs these tasks are not viewed with the importance and esteem deserved. If you really thought about what would happen if there were NO janitors or truck drivers or cashiers or workers at McDonald's or bus boys .... the list goes on and on.... you would see just how important we all are on the team. Everyone plays an important role to keep our society functioning. So, as you are out and about, try to view your fellow teammates in a different light. Make a mental note of how much more difficult things might  be if no one played their "position" in the game of life.

"He said to his disciples, 'The harvest is so great, but the workers are so few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send out more workers for his fields.'" Matthew 9:37-38

"Work hard so God can approve you. Be a good worker, one who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly explains the word of truth." 2Timothy2:15

When The Wind Blows

September 1, 2010


Today is the two year anniversary of Hurricane Gustav. We, along with everyone else for hundreds of miles around us, went through all the routine preparations you make in the event of a hurricane coming your way. We packed important papers and medicines. We stocked up on non-perishables, batteries, and gas for the generator. We filled our bathtubs, sinks, washing machines, and as many jugs as we could find full of water. We charged our cell phones, laptops, and cameras. We filled our vehicles with gas. We boarded up windows and secured anything and everything that could become a missile during the heavy winds. I also went a step further. For some reason, I decided that I wanted to have a video of what it's like to be in a hurricane, so, I began the "documentary" the day before showing the calm before, the preparations we made,  and what our house and landscape looked like before the big weather event.  


During the course of the actual hurricane, I made sure to document the changes in the strength of the storm at least every hour.  We were able to be outside during most of the hurricane because there is an outdoor kitchen that was blocking the wind and rain. I've been through hurricanes all of my life and despite the damage they can do, it's kind of exciting really. The power of nature is incredible to witness. 


From time to time we would see tin fly through the sky and stray items blowing past us. When things got really going we saw what looked like someone's roof blowing across the field from where we were. Not long after this it got very scary and it became apparent that it was too dangerous for us to be outside anymore, so we went indoors through the worst of it. 


Once things finally started slowing down, Freddie decided to give in to his curiosity and make his way next door to see how our house held up. A few minutes later, he returns to my parent's house out of breath and almost in a panic. He said, "Our roof is gone."  I said, "What do you mean?" He rephrased it, "The roof flew off of the house." (As it turns out, that roof I saw flying across the field was ours.) "What's under the roof?" I asked. He looked at me like I was speaking Russian. "The ceiling." "Do you think it's raining in our house? You think it's wet inside?" "Dana, the roof is gone. Yes. It's raining inside of the house." He continued, "Once it slows down, we need to get over there and start moving the electronics out of the water."


It's hard to describe how you feel when you lose your house, and almost everything in it. It ended up that the insurance company totaled the house. We had decisions to make, and fast. We had to find a place for the six of us to live. Thank God that Freddie's sister & her husband loaned us their camper. We decided that the best thing to do was to repair our home & live in the camper until it was finished. We had some amazing people who stepped up and just blessed us beyond belief! I could go on and on about how humble I feel. In times like these, you learn the true character of a person. Sometimes you're disappointed, but, sometimes you are just bombarded with God's grace!


You also realize just how much you can live without when you're faced with circumstances like these. It became very clear to me what was really important in my life. "Things" are nice to have, but, you really don't need very much to survive. It puts your life into a whole different perspective. 


Today, I am sitting in a remodeled home. I love my house. It may not be as nice as what others might have. But, it's where my family is together. It's where we belong. It's where we feel safe and loved. 


I am grateful that we went through what we did. It was difficult~ we lived in a camper with no less than 30 mice (the mice were there before we were), 2 fish, an 8 month old, 5 year old, 7 year old, 9 year old, and 2 exhausted adults. We ate (juggled) many microwaved dinners, endured a terrible stomach bug, and a few trips to the ER. (Freddie shot a nail from a nail gun through his hand.)  But, I learned a lot from that time. I learned that my husband is one of the strongest people I have ever known. I learned exactly who I can count on. I learned that there are some people on this earth who are truly giving and compassionate. I learned that "stuff" can be destroyed in a matter of minutes, and what remains through the destruction is beautiful and priceless. I learned that my faith and trust in God is strong. And I have seen God's blessings firsthand!


"Unless The Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is useless." Psalm 127:1


"Don't store up treasures here on earth, where they can be eaten by moths and get rusty, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where they will never become moth-eaten or rusty and where they will be safe from thieves. Wherever you treasure is, there your heart and thoughts will also be." Matthew 6:19-21

This is right after the rain and winds died down enough for us to start moving about. You can see the water on the ceiling, What you can't see is the water dripping from the ceiling.

This is Karli's room. We had our generator hooked up for power. The water was pouring out of the ceiling and the fan.

You can see water dripping between the wall and the paint.

It was really nasty. It was dripping this orangey-brown colored honey-syrupy "stuff".

As you can see the floors were soaked.

The boys' room was not spared.

This is the kids' bathroom. Everything was drenched. Water poured for days out of the ceiling until we ripped it out.