Just Do Your Job

September 10, 2012

I sit today and I have no idea what words will spill from my fingertips onto the blank screen. I whisper a prayer for God to author a blog and this is what He gives me.

"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:9

It's ironic in a way. My friend, Angie, wrote a blog this morning over at Joli on Transition. I feel like she wrote that blog post just for me. My life has certainly gone through a transition (or two) of its own recently. And as you can read in Angie's post, it can be uncomfortable. It can feel like peace is light years away and your world is off balance and out of sorts. I'd like to add that the temptation and natural human urge through transition can also result in ungodly behavior if you're not extremely careful to seek God's heart constantly.

It's so easy to let your hurt, fear, anger, & bitterness bubble up and ooze out like infectious puss from a sore. Somehow, we've allowed ourselves to believe that in the game of life it's okay to repay hurt with hurt, ugliness with ugliness. We justify this with "An eye for an eye". But, we conveniently forget about "You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord." Leviticus 19:18 or "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you," Matthew 5:43-44 {Jesus said that Himself, y'all! And He also said this->} "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:35. "If anyone says, 'I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen." 1John 4:20.

We as Christians have a difficult role to play sometimes. We must LOVE others when everything in our bodies goes against that. We must LOVE when we have been hurt deeply by those we have trusted with our hearts. We must LOVE. Period. We are called to LOVE- not to hurt, not to prove that we are right, not to prove that you are not better than me. We have to be Kingdom focused! Those foolish, prideful things will not matter in eternity.

Why should we love those who are often difficult to love? Quite simply... Jesus died for each and every one of us. We have all be unlovable at one point in time or another. He paid the price for all sin once and for all. He does not want to see anyone spend eternity in the fires of hell. It is our job as Christ followers to show the love of Jesus to everyone so that all can be saved.

I look back to the recent history of my current transitions. Have I loved? There are times where I can clearly say absolutely! I loved well. I am proud that I represent Jesus Christ. But, there were other times that I gave in to my selfish hurts. I let my anger and pride poke tiny, little holes. And we can fool ourselves into believing that tiny, little holes are not as bad as the big ones, but, your bucket will empty from tiny, little holes just like it will from a big one, it just might take a little longer. God does not want us empty; He wants to fill us with Him. So, yeah, there have been times that instead of being that real, live example of Christ, I failed. But, today is a reminder to go out and LOVE. Even when it's hard.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

"Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;" Hebrews 12:14-15

PINK

September 4, 2012

There are so many exciting things going on in our lives right now!

We are keeping very busy- and loving every minute of it!

It was really nice to have a relaxing summer break.

But we are certainly welcoming the busyness of a new season.

I think that is one of the reasons why I love fall so much. 

It's the change.

The excitement.

The hustle and bustle of getting here, and going there.

The challenge of fitting it all in.

And, I'd be lying if I said that I was sad about maybe, sometimes NOT having time to cook supper.

Sue me.

Dance classes are starting soon.

Football is starting even sooner!

But, there is one other thing that is coming up that I am looking forward to, as well.

Our ladies group at church is hosting "A Night of Pink" in honor of  Breast Cancer Awareness Month in October. It's going to be a night of fun where we will honor some special ladies, encourage one another, worship the Lord, and just, well, be AWESOME together! 

There is so much planned for this night, but, the thing I am most looking forward to is watching this girl

shake what her momma gave her!

This is a FREE event! {We all love FREE don't we?} You do not have to be a member of Crossroads Church to attend. You just have to be a lady female. Won't you grab a few of your best girlfriends, pile on as much pink as you possibly can, and join us for "A Night of Pink". {Prizes may or may not be involved.}

Aubree and I hope to see you there!

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies." Proverbs 31:10

"She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." Proverbs 31:17

"She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." Proverbs 31:20

LOSS

August 28, 2012

Normally, my blog posts tend to be written about things that I have struggled through and have arrived at some sort of working resolve. But, lately, my life has been beaten with some things that I am having a hard time sorting through. I can't seem to nestle into a space of peace.

I feel as though I must state the obvious and say that I am incredibly blessed. I really mean that from the bottom of my heart. I have the most amazing husband and I stand in awe of my four children and all of their lovable, annoying, sweet, sassy, caring, and selfish ways. I truly feel like out of all the kids in the whole entire world, I got the four best ones. Life is good. I could make a list... a long list of everything I am grateful for. But, I feel that it would be incredibly misleading to not share the hard stuff here, too.

A few months ago, something happened where my best friend and I were caught up in a mess. Have you ever been in a mess before? It's not a fun place to be. And the thing about a mess is that it can be very messy. {Yes, I know. I am Captain Obvious today.} The details actually have become irrelevant at this point in time, but, the fact of the matter is, we were both incredibly hurt and disappointed in each other. We both had on blinders to our own perception of what happened. And although at some point we came together to try to salvage what was genuinely there and very real, things are not the same as they once were. Once trust is lost, it is very difficult to regain. And it's strange, because the love is still there. It's very hard for me to wrap my mind around it, and even harder for my heart. There have been lessons learned from this experience, but the damage is still evident. I am confident that God has both of us on His mind. I know He is still working. But, it's not a good place to be right now. I ache for what is seemingly lost. I am sorry for the hurt that has beaten up my heart and hers. And I'm not sure where this road will lead. All I know is that it's a sad walk.

LOSS.

My (husband's) aunt was diagnosed almost a year ago with stage IV stomach cancer. I cried when I heard the news. But then, hope began to build. She was apparently unafraid. Barely fazed. Ready to FIGHT! And fight she did. I've never met anyone like her. Not once did I hear her complain. Or whine. People would have been asking me if I wanted cheese to go with my whine if the shoe were on the other foot. Her faith never wavered. She would get chemo and two days later you would find her painting her bathroom. True story. But, she lost her battle a week ago Sunday. I was with her when she breathed her final breath. It was truly a gift. But, I had no idea how it would affect me. There is a stark and bitter realization that this life can be over in the blink of an eye. One final breath. And although I know that my eternity is secure, my ticket to heaven has been paid in full, the human part of me aches for what is left behind. Death is so real to me now in a way that it never was before. I have an ever present twinge of something that I will call fear, for lack of a better word. It's so hard to explain. I'm trying to sort out how to go on living my life all the while clinging with white knuckles to every second. I'm sad for the loss of what was, one year ago, a very able, seemingly healthy woman. I am sad for the extremely difficult journey that took her down a road that no one should ever have to go down. I am forever changed by what I saw the last few months of her life.

I have been hurt before by people. Intentionally and unintentionally. I've been disappointed and I've suffered varying degrees of loss. But, right now I just feel so tangled up in it. My faith in people has been rocked. Not in any one person, necessarily, but people in general. Perhaps I expect too much. There's not much that I am sure of these days. However, I am sure of my love and loyalty for my children and my husband. I am sure that one day I will breathe my final breath, just as we all will. I am sure that I want to make my life matter. I am sure that I don't want to give value to those things that do not benefit anyone. I am sure that forgiveness is more important than righteousness. I am sure that I serve a mighty, all-knowing, loving, and merciful God who "works all things together for my good, to give me a future and a hope". I am sure that I will spend eternity in heaven.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him." Psalm 28:7

Just Breathe

August 10, 2012

Sitting in the big recliner next to her hospital bed,
Watching her sleep.
Waiting for her next breath.
And the next.

My mind began to drift of times before.
When I was the one in the bed
and my husband sat beside me in the big recliner.
Watching me.
Waiting for the first breath.
And all the ones that would follow.

Two floors down babies are taking their first breath of life
At the same time that others are taking their last.
It seems that the distance between the two is never far enough.
A whirlwind of events seems to overpower time.
One day melts into the next.
Before you know it, you're back in the big recliner.

Do we pay enough attention to how we spend each breath
Between the first one and the last?
Do we waste our breaths on too many things that are not worthy?
Do we take for granted the pattern of the rise and fall of our chest?
Do we even notice it at all?
Do we give enough thought to what happens after our breath is gone?

Just as we all took that very first gulp of air,
We will all, one day, blow out our last.
Make sure the ones in between were not wasted away.
Spend that currency on what matters.
Invest in eternity.
Yours, and others'.
Because, in the end, you leave this world with
The same material possessions you entered with.
Live wisely and
Breathe Love.


{In honor of Aunt Nancy. Oh, how I love you.}

"then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature." Genesis 2:7

"Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?'" John 11:25-26.

"As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God." Psalm 42:1

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." Matthew 5:6

"Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men," Colossians 3:23

"And Jesus came and said to them, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the HOly Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:18-20