Fill Her Up

August 15, 2011

Last week was not a great week for me. I did not like myself very much, and I am sure no one else did either. It was so bad that one night while laying in bed Freddie asked me what was wrong because I just looked "sickly". I tried to fight off the "nasties", but I wasn't very successful. I had fantasies thoughts of indulging in a nice, big  Lexapro Cocktail.

This whole discipline thing is something that I shamefully admit I've not been so good at. And it bothers me because I know that I am not doing right by my kids. Ugh. I feel wishy-washy. Too lenient at times and too strict at others. But what bothers me the most is that my discipline lacks the spirit of Love. I have not figured out how to lovingly discipline. That does not mean that I do not love my kids. It just means that I do allow my anger and frustration to be a part of the discipline equation at times. And it can be quite understandable from the human perspective. But, that is not what I want for my home to feel like. I want my kids to be able to use me as an example for raising their own kids. I don't want them to waste time searching for a better way. I want to teach them to have a loving heart in all things. "Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are one of my disciples." John 13:35

Today begins a new week. A new approach. A new attitude. I've prayed to be FILLED with the spirit of Christ. That's what I want. It's what I need. Momma's got a game plan. In writing. {My kids HATE my charts and lists. There have been so many over the years.} After much searching, I came across a very good If-Then Chart. This chart has three columns. One for the Offense. One for the Bible verse against it. One for the punishment. I have been needing this chart for a while now. This is how I want to discipline. I want to have a scripture to back up what I've been yelling at telling my kids all along. I don't want to have to make a punishment decision in the heat of the moment. I want it to be fair and reasonable and appropriate! And let's not forget consistent and predictable.

I want the atmosphere in my home to be one of Love. I want to teach tolerance and respect. That's kind of hard to do when you allow yourself to get to the point of becoming a raging lunatic where you lose your patience and commence to yelling! I have got to learn to keep it together! I do not have the option of losing it! I am going to have to implement some discipline in my own parenting (ie Dropping to my knees instead of Raising my voice). I'm about to wake them up. My desperate prayer for today is to be filled with the Spirit of Love!

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

"The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." Proverbs 29:15

"Blessed is the man whom you discipline, O Lord, and whom you teach out of your law," Psalm 94:12

"Don't fail to discipline your children. They won't die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death." Proverbs 23:13-14

"For their command is a lamp and their instruction a light; their corrective discipline is the way to life." Proverbs 6:23

1 comment:

Mom of 12 said...

No mom is perfect all the time, but I guess some are closer than others. I worry all the time about messing up. I think it just comes with the job.