Because I'm Worth It

September 26, 2011

Ever feel insecure?

Lately, I've been having long spans of time a few moments of insecurity.  Please, somebody tell me I'm not the only person walking around this earth who thinks that everyone else has it together with the sole exception being herself! Okay. I take that back. I do "know" of a couple of people that really are a hot mess. They don't have it together at all. But, I'm talking in general here.

I'd like to think that I am a strong woman. I can DO just about anything, including birthing babies without the aid of pain medication. (Sorry. I'm kind of proud of that one.) Anyway. Sometimes, I can't help but feel like just when I think I've got this "woman" thing figured out, Satan tackles me hard, throws me to the ground, spits in my eye, laughs in my face, and gives me a concussion. And, he's got it on video to replay the whole ugly episode for me {and everyone else who'll watch} over and over and over and ov.......!

Then, the thoughts come. "Am I doing it all wrong?" "What in the world was I thinking?" "What now?" "Why can't you learn to not talk so much?" "If only they knew you aren't as smart as you want them to think you are." "If only they knew how many times a day you fail." "If only they knew you are CLUELESS." "I bet she thinks I'm a dork." "Why did you say THAT?" "Oh, that was smooth." "She hates me." "I bet they're all talking about me behind my back." "You idiot." Yeah. The devil's beating me up all right. He's using my own fists!

I struggle with life in this fallen world. Sometimes, I invite the devil in and offer him homemade brownies. I listen to what he has to say about me. I take it all in. Every. Single. Word. And I start to believe it. He uses my whole life's experiences against me. Every offense I've suffered, every fear, every failure. He brings it up and uses it to shame me so that I will not have the confidence to stand up in this world and be a light for my Father.

I don't claim to know the answers. But, here's what I do know. The devil is a LIAR! He's got a job to do. He's got real estate to fill up. And time is a ticking. He does not want us to see us the way that God sees us. He wants us defeated and depleted. And here's what else I know: I am someone worth dying for.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

"but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1John 4:10

1 comment:

Tammy said...

So proud of you! You are so worth it!! :)