February 23, 2011
Today is my husband's birthday. Can we stand another tribute as to how much I love this guy so soon after Valentine's Day? I think not. I only have 16 followers and I don't want to lose any of you! LOL! I do love him. I wish him the happiest birthday EVER. I hope that I get to spend at least 60 more birthdays with him!
Today, I pray that God will help me to become what my husband needs me to be! I want to be a compliment to his life, not a burden. I want to make him happy, not be a source of stress. I want to be a part of his every day thoughts and desires, not apart from them. I want to make his life more enjoyable. I want him to want to spend at least 60 more birthdays with me!
I have been spending much of this past year changing, growing, searching for who God wants me to be. I have not been living up my potential in Him. I could be so much more than I am. For years, I was living my life content. But, I want more. I realize that who I was simply was not who I was satisfied in being for my family. They deserve more. God has been changing me. He has been helping me to grow closer to that person that they deserve me to be. I am not there yet, but, I am closer than I was at this time last year.
I used to think that I was a pretty decent person. And, according to the standards of the world, I probably was. But, I have decided to live for God, not the world and I have found out that I am not nearly as loving as I thought I was. There are so many times that it is easy for me to judge people (and talk about them to others) for whatever reason. That is the opposite of being loving. I also have discovered that I am more prideful than I used to admit to. Stubbornness is a symptom of pride. I have discovered that I have to work very hard at learning to let go of wanting to "show them" just for the sake of being "right". I am also not as generous as I 'd like others to believe I am. The list goes on, but I will spare you the details. You get the idea, and I'm sure if you know me personally you can easily add things to what I've already confessed.
There are so many things that I can do that will make others think that I am better than I am. I can trick even myself into believing that I am a "good person". But, if I am being honest, there are so many times that I fall victim to the things that are, at the least, not very nice. And even if others don't recognize it, God sees it all. And, as my appetite to become better grows, my eyes are opened wider to those things that are keeping me from actually being better. I literally have to have discussions with myself inside my head~ sermons or pep talks or conversations with God or whatever you want to call it. (Crazy? I can accept that, too.)
This is a journey, my journey. I will never be as good as I could be. Not until I get to heaven. But, I never want to be content just standing still on the side of the road. I want to spend the rest of my life walking towards something better than I currently am. Feel free to join me~ the sights and smells along the way are breathtaking and it's worth every single step!
"And now, may the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, all that is pleasing to him." Hebrews 13:20-21
"Commit your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3
"Unfailing love and faithfulness cover sin; evil is avoided by fear of the Lord." Proverbs 16:6
"It is better to be poor and godly than rich and dishonest." Proverbs 16:8
"The path of the upright leads away from evil; whoever follows that path is safe." Proverbs 16:17