February 2, 2011
I'm back! We are currently dealing with a little Flu and probably Strep. It has taken down three members of my family. For you mothers out there, you know what that means! So, yeah, I've been busy. The whining, the crying, the clinging... and that's not to mention the ones in my family who are sick. (Ba da boomp! I'll be here all week.)
You may or may not know that Drake has not had a computer to be able to do school for a couple of months. It seems that he has a little problem with disobedience and falling asleep with his and/or his brother's laptop in his (top bunk) bed. It's inevitable that said laptop comes crashing to the floor sometime in the wee hours of the night! He's gone through THREE laptops in the past few months. Anyway... life sometimes gives you lemons... yada yada yada.
We are a single income family of SIX. A new computer is not in the budget, so we had to figure out a few things, and then wait. Sometimes that is just what you've got to do. I have clung to the hope that this "wait" has provided some enlightenment to my darling son. I want for him to realize that #1 Mom and Dad really do know what they are talking about most of the time! When he chooses disobedience he usually ends up on the short end of the stick. #2 There are ALWAYS consequences for your actions and choices. If he has to work three times as hard as he would have otherwise, then so be it. I'm going to buy a case of Kleenex (for him) and some ear plugs (for me). #3 I hope that he gains some appreciation of the value of "things". I know that this may sound contrary, and usually it is. But, we must learn that we need to take care of the things that we have and not be wasteful or hasty. Things are not more important than relationships, but, in our world, we will find a genuine need for certain things~ and in this case, a computer for school definitely falls into the category of a need, no matter how far up or down it may be on the list.
During the wait, things happened that delayed the process of being able to buy a new computer, but, even through the disappointment and unsettling feelings, we waited. I knew that God was working. I just didn't know how BIG He was doing it.
So, Saturday morning my phone rings. The voice on the other end said, "Would you prefer a desktop or a laptop for Drake?" I said, "A desktop. Why?" After banter back and forth about specifics I asked, "Where are you? How much is this going to cost?" The voice said, "Don't worry about it. It's a brand new computer and it won't cost you a thing. You'll find out more when we get there." Hmm. Confused. Trying to imagine the chain of events that would lead up to someone giving away a brand new computer, because I know that the voice on the phone would not be spending money on one for us. So, fast forward to a brand new, really nice desktop in the box, freshly PURCHASED by the voice for us! A gift. An unsolicited gift. No strings attached. From God! That's what the voice said. God spoke. The voice obeyed. I sobbed.
(*Some names have been changed to protect privacy.)
Let me tell why this is so amazing! First of all, God chose to use the voice instead of a more likely candidate. It would have had less impact coming from any number of other people in my life. I am not saying that it would not have been less appreciated. How can I say this without sounding, well, rude or bratty? Okay. So, you know that there are some people who give without counting the cost? Well, there are those people in my life. But the voice is not, or has not, necessarily been one of those people in the past. It's complicated. In addition, I have been struggling in my relationship with the voice. I love the voice. I really do. But, I do not have the relationship I want to have with the voice. It's complicated. Also, during the wait, I may or may not have questioned God to be sure that He still wants me home schooling our kids. You know how sometimes, you are not sure what God is trying to tell you as you go through some things? Well, I was so wanting His will to be me home schooling, but, I wasn't sure because of all that we've been going through. But, this was a clear and speedy answer from Him of YES you are to be home schooling! It is not complicated. (Thank you, God! I love home schooling!)
So, God, once again, came for me! He found me waiting obediently and patiently for Him. He blessed me in ways that I did not even know He considered. And you know what? Maybe He's not just working in my heart. Maybe, He's working with the voice, too. It brings me to sobbing tears to realize how much my Father loves me. He loves Me. ME! He LOVES me.
"Praise the Lord, for he has shown me his unfailing love. He kept me safe when my city was under attack." Psalm 31:21
"He causes things to happen on earth, either as a punishment or as a sign of his unfailing love." Job 37:13
"And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given up the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:5