September 22, 2010

Last night, I leaned over Aubree to move her from the crook of her daddy's back so he wouldn't fall out of the bed. In her sleep, she felt me and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. She had no idea where I was bringing her, but she absolutely trusted me. There were no questions, no hesitation. She knows that I love her and that I will always protect her. Even though she cannot articulate it, she knows that I have her best interest at heart.

I think about how much God loves me. I think about how He wants the best~ an eternity in heaven along with earthly blessings~ for me. I think about how He has my best interest at heart. Do I always trust Him completely, even though I know He has desires for me only for good and not for evil (Jeremiah 29:11)? Do I wrap my arms around Him and trust that He will bring me to a better place? Do I surrender to Him without question or hesitation? I am embarrassed to say no. I often hold back. I hold back because I fear what others might think of me. I hold back because I am afraid of where He will carry me through to get to where He wants me to be. I hold back because I'm not sure I am ready to let go of the familiar life I have lived for something that challenges me to search myself to be what He wants me to be.

The thing is, when I stand before the judgement seat of God, my friends and acquaintances will not be there. I will stand alone. "But if anyone denies me here on earth, I will deny that person before my Father in heaven." Matthew 10:33 I should not be worried about what others think of me. My eternity depends on it. I need to honor my heavenly Father. 

I say that I am afraid of where He will bring me- but, that's just it- He does not expect me to go anywhere alone. "Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close." Psalm 27:10 "That is why we can say with confidence, The Lord is my helper, so I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?" Hebrews 13:6 

I don't want to step out of my old life into the unknown, but He says, "You have already been pruned for greater fruitfulness by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful apart from me." John 15:3-4

Lord, it's not easy to surrender and trust. I want to. I pray that You will help me. I ask that You remove my vanity and fear. I pray that you will ease my fears and instead fill me with peace and hope, excitement and encouragement. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

"Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust the Lord." Psalm 32:10

"Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper." Psalm 37:3

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

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