One month from today will be Valentine's Day. The day for L.O.V.E. Amore. I am hoping that I will be able to score a date with my husband. ALONE. It's funny, because anytime he and I are near each other, no matter where we are, one of the girls (it is rarely one of the boys~ I wonder what that means?) will make it her business to get between us~ one of them does this overtly and the other one tries to be a little more covert. Fail. What is it with those girls?
Anyway, I was thinking about other times when Freddie and I have had the opportunity to go out to dinner, just the two of us. It's funny because we are all pumped up and excited, eager to have some quality time to ourselves and we get to the restaurant and then.... crickets. Nothing. We just stare at each other waiting for the appetizer to arrive. Then we force conversation. We look around. We say a lot of "I love you's" to fill in the gaps. But, it's almost like we have forgotten how to be a couple. We've lost how to be Freddie & Dana instead of Daddy & Mommy. (The only reason I am brave enough to share this is because I KNOW that we are not the only ones out there. You know what I'm talking about. It's happened to you, too. Right?)
Freddie & I really do have a very good relationship. It's perfect. (Okay, maybe just shy of perfect. Okay, maybe close to perfect. Who am I kidding? But it IS really, really
good great awesome!) We try really hard throughout each day to slip in a few minutes of uninterrupted conversation, which usually revolves around a cell phone and me fanatically running through the house to get away from noisy, screaming, whining kids who HAVE TO HAVE MY ATTENTION NOW amid interruptions from Freddie's demanding job. Even though it seems impossible to have any sort of quality communication, we do just fine. We communicate effectively about the important stuff in life all the way down to the mundane and everything in between. It's just that we do it around and between the kids. We even have figured out how to pepper in a few minutes alone together here and there.
I'm not complaining, even though that is how it might seem. I actually think it's amusing and pretty ingenious on our parts. We are so immersed in our children, but, we still have figured out a way to not neglect each other. We just do it in a less conventional way than we used to. I wouldn't have it any other way. I realize that my kids will soon be trickling right out of the door. Time goes by so fast, it almost seems as though the past 12 years have been nothing but a blur with a few pictures sprinkled in for the sake of posterity. (It happens in a blink, It happens in a flash, It happens in the time it takes to look back, I try to hold on tight, But there's no stopping time....Ugh Ughm... Sorry, I got a little carried away there.)
I realize that each day is new. It holds fresh opportunities for memories, for growth, for connection. It is what I will remember when this season of my life is over and Freddie and I are a "couple" once again. I just want to make sure that he and I are sitting next to each other, holding hands, and there is more to be heard than the sound of crickets. Just like I get creative in raising our children, I need to remember to get creative in expressing my love for my husband. I must remember to put as much time, effort, and consideration into making sure that he feels how much I love and adore him, how much I respect and need him. I need to not forget that he is an individual soul, like each of our kids is. He, too, needs to be nurtured and fed and encouraged, and LOVED. It is just as important as anything else in my life is. After all, these days are just the stepping stones for our tomorrows!
"Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him, but help him all her life." Proverbs 31:11-12