Lip Service

January 10, 2011

It's been a little more than a week into the "new" year. I did set some resolutions goals for this year. So far, I am 3 pounds lighter than I was 10 days ago. Yay! The first few days were T.O.R.T.U.R.E. I mean, I could've eaten a box of chocolate covered doughnuts- literally. Cardboard and all! It takes great discipline on my part to make a note of every single thing I put into my mouth and account for it. I have an "app" on my "smartphone" that helps in calculating the amount of calories I consume in the foods I eat and the amount of calories I burn by performing certain "exercises". (Don't get too impressed- The extent of my exercise consists of Housework and Walking.) Anyway, I have realized that even though I don't usually eat a terrible amount of food, I do eat more than I thought I did. It is very easy to lose track of a "Little Debbie" here and a second serving of supper there. I also am more mindful of adding things to my food, like mayonnaise and butter and heavy whipping cream and cream cheese. Before, I gave it no more thought than how much better the recipe would taste WITH these things added. And, I was right. But, the truth is that those things are no more fulfilling of my basic needs for survival. I CAN do without all the extra fat and calories and still be satisfied.

Another "goal" for this year is not only to be more mindful of what I put in my mouth, but I really want to be more mindful of what comes out of my mouth! This may be a little lot more difficult. The day they were handing out "filters" that go between the brain and the mouth I must have been sick in bed shopping. I totally missed out. I have a really hard time NOT saying what I am thinking. I was born as a very outspoken person. I have been independent from the time I can remember. This has not always served me very well. I can also, from time to time, possess a mentality of "I'm right and you're stupid." (Insert GIANT embarrassed smiley here.) Don't get me wrong. I can initiate change in my behavior. I am totally open to accepting a "better" idea. I am riding the "Dr. Phil and Oprah" bandwagon with all the others. I take notes in church, and once I realize that the sermon was not meant for "So and So", I reflect on how I can apply the lessons in my own life. But, I am an emotion-led person. I tend to feel a certain way about a situation and just let my mouth regurgitate E.V.E.R.Y. thing until I am left with dry heaves and a BIG case of regret! It is totally fair to say that my mouth has gotten me into a lot of trouble during my lifetime.

I am struggling right now with an issue of deciding what exactly should be said and what is better left unsaid. Sometimes, in a relationship, there are things, ideas, attitudes, that can hinder the "bond" you feel with someone else. I am a person who always tries to look at someone's INTENTIONS. But, sometimes, even the best of intentions can hurt the heart and injure the spirit. So, do I open the proverbial "can of worms" and delve into the possibility of hurting someone I care about with my well-intentioned words? How can I be certain that my motivations are pure and not self-righteous? I have learned that if I open my mouth BEFORE I pray about it and think it through, then I am just asking for a poor outcome and a broken heart. So, do I "build a bridge and get over it", even if it is at the risk of "building a bridge and getting away from it"? Yes, this is a difficult one for me. It is a raw, tender spot in my soul. My instinct is driving me to WANT NEED to spill it out and relieve myself of the burden. But, the spirit in me to want to be better is having me question myself.

I'm not sure how my lips are going to serve me in this case. Will I hold it all in or will I succumb to the desire to rid myself of my perceptions and interpretations? Will there be healing in my heart without ever having to say a word or will God give me the words to mend the relationship? All I do know, is that I want this to end with me one step closer to my goal of being a better me, one step closer to God.

"Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!" Proverbs 15:23


"A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered." Proverbs 17:27


"My dear brothers and sisters, be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." James 1:19


"A good person produces good deeds from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil deeds from an evil  heart. Whatever is in your heart determines what you say." Luke 6:45