August 23, 2010
"What God has joined together, let no man put asunder."
My wedding anniversary is in less than one week. It will be eighteen years that Freddie and I have been married. That, my friend, is a long time! As I sit here, I think back on all that we have been through as a couple over the past eighteen years. We have struggled to get to the place where we are today. Not all of the years have been blissful. We have faced many trials, many disappointments, we've lost people we've loved, we have found new friendships, had babies, changed jobs, had a car totaled, had a house totaled, juggled bills, rejoiced in blessings, made each other cry, made each other laugh, we've given and we've taken, and we've made compromises.
When I was first married, I would look at couples who had several years "under their belts" and think to myself, "Wow. They have such a good marriage. They don't fight. They love each other." I was quite envious. Freddie and I were so young, we had so much to learn. It was hard to figure out how to be a couple. I am very glad to say that we have finally figured it out! We have a really good marriage~ not because we never fight; not because we are always loving & kind with each other. That would be wonderful, but not possible. I've discovered that "those couples" with the seemingly perfect marriage who never fought actually do fight. They've just figured "it" out, too. A good marriage is not perfection. It is loving each other through not only the good times, but the bad ones, too. It's sticking around when you don't want to because you cannot bear the thought of leaving. It is being so in love with him that you let your heart be absolutely vulnerable and destroyed when he hurts you, and even more broken when you hurt him. It's forgiving and being forgiven when it's not deserved. It's looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. It's never giving up. It's being inspired to be more than you are. It's putting yourself aside when he needs you. It's falling into his arms when you need him. It's learning how to choose your battles carefully. It's ten minutes here, and forty minutes there that add up to the best years of your life. It's waking up to find him staring at you while you were asleep and you don't need words to feel how much he loves you. It's looking at your kids and seeing as close to perfect love as you can on earth!
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand it's own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." 1Corinthians 13:4-7